Joke of the Week

Off-topic discussions, musings and chat
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volvojack
Posts: 1383
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Post by volvojack »

Walking along Albion Street yesterday i came across a young man sitting on the floor with a guitar and a dog. He held out a plate and said "Spare Change" I thought how nice as i helped myself to a handful of coins. There was just enough for a Mc Donalds burger

volvojack
Posts: 1383
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Post by volvojack »

The wife was in the kitchen making breakfast there was a big bang i ran in she was on the floor covered in boiling porridge,the kitchen looked like a bomb had hit it, i panicked and thought what am i going to do. Then i remembered Weartherspoons do an all day breakfast for 3.99.
Last edited by volvojack on Thu 30 Jul, 2020 8:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

volvojack
Posts: 1383
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Post by volvojack »

Tilly Could you please delete the post that i managed to post under your name .

Gawd knows how i did it

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tilly
Posts: 2015
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Post by tilly »

Leave it there it looks has though i know more jokes than you.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.

volvojack
Posts: 1383
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Post by volvojack »

The jury found Patrick not guilty of all charges and as he came out of the court the Press crowded round and asked what was he going to do now. His solicitor Murphy said "We plan to appeal"
......................................................................................................
Pat was on holiday in Bali and there was an earthquake which caused his Hotel to collapse. Fire Crews and Ambulances raced to the scene and the police put sniffer dogs onto the rubble. as they were packing up to leave they heard a faint voice calling for help. They searched the rubble and shouted where abouts are you ? Pat replied "I'm in room 217" ........

gchq
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri 07 Aug, 2020 7:57 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Post by gchq »

An old man (think Uncle Albert - Fools and Horses), retired long ago from the Royal Navy decides to don his uniform and go to the docks.

As daylight fades he salutes to a destroyer that is heading out to sea and starts to head home.

On the way he passes through a red light district, and a young girl calls to him "How about it old timer? Still got it in ya?"

He thinks for a moment and then decides to give it a go.

In her bedroom and five minutes into it he asks "How am I doing love?"

"About 3 knots old timer!" she replies

"Err - what does that mean?"

"You're knot hard, you're not in and you're knot getting your money back!"

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