Joke of the Week

Off-topic discussions, musings and chat
volvojack
Posts: 1344
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Post by volvojack »

tilly will tell you how tough it was in unslet, the pub" Swan with two necks used to serve broken leg of lamb

Kids used to steal hub caps from car wheels only difference was they used to do it while the car was moving
Last edited by volvojack on Sun 03 May, 2020 4:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
tilly
Posts: 2008
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Post by tilly »

We were so poor my mum used to sell pegs to gypsies.One year when we did not get any toys for Christmas my mum said santa had fell of our roof and was in hospital.I went to a good school it was approved.One job i had i had three thousand people under me i was a grave digger. :D
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.

volvojack
Posts: 1344
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Post by volvojack »

I have had two failed marriiages
first one left me and the second one wont. She looked disappointed at the present i bought her for xmas, it was a belt with matching bag and I told her this would make the vacuum last at least another year.










































































it was a belt with matching bag and i told her that means the vacuum will last at least another year

volvojack
Posts: 1344
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Post by volvojack »

I made a real mess of the above post.

I came from the pub on saturday night and the wife started so i told her
that i wear the trousers in this house and if she did not like it she could bugger off back to that ugly old cow she calls her mother. well i did not see her on the Sunday morning when i woke up, did not see her her monday, tuesday or wednesday but on thursday the swelling on both eyes had began to go down.
Last edited by volvojack on Mon 04 May, 2020 6:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

buffaloskinner
Posts: 1308
Joined: Sun 01 Apr, 2007 6:02 pm
Location: Nova Scotia

Re: Joke of the Week

Post by buffaloskinner »

volvojack wrote:
Mon 04 May, 2020 2:38 pm
I made a real mess of the above post
You do realise that you can edit a post that you have screwed up don't you. :oops: Just click on the pencil.
Is this the end of the story ...or the beginning of a legend?

volvojack
Posts: 1344
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Post by volvojack »

Thanks for your advice B but i think i pressed the preview button first instead of submit
Last edited by volvojack on Tue 12 May, 2020 6:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
tilly
Posts: 2008
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Post by tilly »

I cant wait to get on that plane on Saturday.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.

warringtonrhino
Posts: 404
Joined: Sat 18 Feb, 2012 2:31 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Post by warringtonrhino »

I have just finished my tenth marathon since lock-down started, I still can't get round to calling them Snickers

User avatar
tilly
Posts: 2008
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Post by tilly »

tilly wrote:
Tue 12 May, 2020 2:17 pm
I cant wait to get on that plane on Saturday.
No one came back on this one i was going to say i am taking some wood off the bottom of the bedroom door.I think the joke was on me. :oops:
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.

volvojack
Posts: 1344
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Post by volvojack »

A study at Leeds University have found that if farmers sit and talk to their cows they give more milk. I guess its a case of in one ear and out the udder

Two paddies were talking in the pub and Mick says to Pat " Do you know that Christmas day falls on a Friday this year. Pat replies " Oh i just hope it not on the !3 th.
Last edited by volvojack on Wed 13 May, 2020 1:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Post Reply