Joke of the Week

Off-topic discussions, musings and chat
volvojack
Posts: 1317
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Thu 12 Dec, 2019 8:20 pm

Your posts have reminded that some years ago having had a great two weeks in Lanzarote we were waiting for our taxi which was due to take us to the airport and realised wh=e had time for a meal. We were looking at the various restaurants and were surprised to see one advertising T.bone steak onion rings ect. at a very low price. we sat down and ordered two meals. when they arrived they were T. bone alright but the Fillet side was missing. It was then that we realised why it e=was so cheap, nice anyway..........
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tilly
Posts: 2000
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Thu 12 Dec, 2019 8:33 pm

So really you had something to beef about make no bones about it.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
volvojack
Posts: 1317
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Fri 13 Dec, 2019 8:33 pm

Took my wife out for dinner and we ordered lobster.when it came i noticed it had only one claw, i called the waiter
over and showed him this. he said "Oh sorry but it has been in a fight" my wife said In that can you bring us the winner.
volvojack
Posts: 1317
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Fri 13 Dec, 2019 8:43 pm

Don't know if this has been on before but anyway here goes...........
Irish teacher asks her class "Can anyone tell me who was born in a stable and had millions of followers




? Paddy junior stuck up his hand and said "Would that be Red Rum miss"

volvojack
Posts: 1317
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Tue 17 Dec, 2019 8:27 pm

Water bailiff is patrolling the river and he comes across a man fishing with 2 trout in his net. When he asks the man to show him his licence the man replies "I don't have a licence as these are my pet trout".
The bailiff says "I believe you are poaching" and the man responds "these 2 pet fish - I put them in the river for 10 minutes, then I whistle and they come back and I pop them in the net". The bailiff says "I find that hard to believe" but the man says "Let me show you". He slips the fish into the water and after 10 - 15 minutes the bailiff says "well, come on, whistle and lets see the fish return". The man says "WHAT FISH?"
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tilly
Posts: 2000
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Mon 13 Jan, 2020 2:09 pm

I looked over my garden fence and the next door neighbor was spreading powder all over his lawn i said is that weed and feed.He said no its to stop the elephants trampling the grass down i said there are no elephants for thousands of miles.He said effective isn't it.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
volvojack
Posts: 1317
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Mon 13 Jan, 2020 2:49 pm

Home required for little Jack Russel dog,house trained but barks a lot. If you are interested please contact me and i will climb over my neigbours fence and get him.
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tilly
Posts: 2000
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Wed 19 Feb, 2020 10:41 pm

I went on a site it said this site uses cookies i thought i would give it a go.A week later a parcel arrived from the site with four little buns in it.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.

volvojack
Posts: 1317
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Sun 01 Mar, 2020 7:49 pm

When we were young we used to knock on doors then run away, nowadays its still the same only Its called Parcel Force
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tilly
Posts: 2000
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Mon 02 Mar, 2020 7:56 pm

I have never felt so fit for years, i pay the man next door ten pounds a week to run three miles a day for me.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.





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