Joke of the Week

Off-topic discussions, musings and chat
warringtonrhino
Posts: 382
Joined: Sat 18 Feb, 2012 2:31 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby warringtonrhino » Wed 11 Mar, 2020 9:32 am

How was my dad supposed to know that when he gave up his seat to an elderly lady passenger, that she could not drive?
warringtonrhino
Posts: 382
Joined: Sat 18 Feb, 2012 2:31 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby warringtonrhino » Thu 12 Mar, 2020 5:40 pm

On Monday my brother bought a mini, on Tuesday he bought a Fiesta, on Wednesday he bought a Corsa, on Thursday he bought a Golf, on Friday he bought a Nissan, on Saturday he bought a Picasso and on Sunday he bought a Jaguar.
On Monday he was diagnosed with the Car Owner Virus.
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tilly
Posts: 1999
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Sat 28 Mar, 2020 4:23 pm

I have been shattered this week washing my hands about twenty times a day.I reread the recommendations it says wash for twenty seconds not twenty minuets.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
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Leodian
Posts: 6190
Joined: Thu 10 Jun, 2010 8:03 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby Leodian » Sun 29 Mar, 2020 12:16 pm

During a search for something I came across the following:-

“Holmes and Watson are on a camping trip. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes up and gives Dr. Watson a nudge. "Watson" he says, "look up in the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see millions of stars, Holmes," says Watson.

"And what do you conclude from that, Watson?"

Watson thinks for a moment. "Well," he says, "astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meterologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I see that God is all-powerful, and we are small and insignficant. Uh, what does it tell you, Holmes?"

"Watson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent!”

It was credited to Thomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein.
A rainbow is a ribbon that Nature puts on when she washes her hair.

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tilly
Posts: 1999
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Sun 29 Mar, 2020 6:35 pm

Nice one Leodion i hope you and your family are keeping ok keep your powder dry.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
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Leodian
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Joined: Thu 10 Jun, 2010 8:03 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby Leodian » Sun 29 Mar, 2020 7:25 pm

tilly wrote:
Sun 29 Mar, 2020 6:35 pm
Nice one Leodion i hope you and your family are keeping ok keep your powder dry.
Thanks tilly for those kind words which I also wish for you :).
Things greatly improved yesterday as I finally managed to get some toilet rolls :o as I had not been looking forward to having to use torn up sheets of newspaper (mind you that was better than the Izal medicated paper used in ye olde days of yore!).
A rainbow is a ribbon that Nature puts on when she washes her hair.
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tilly
Posts: 1999
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Sun 29 Mar, 2020 9:29 pm

Your lucky i have been using 300 grit sand paper but then we are tough from Hunslet.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.





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