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Posted: Fri 01 Jan, 2010 9:08 pm
by franco
A friend of mine,a life long Leeds supporter swears blind that legendly keeper David Harvey once owned a pet monkey that commited suicide.Apparently the monkey (who incidently was allowed to roam freely around the Harvey family home) became insanely jealous when David began to indulge in thoroughbred Rabbit breeding. In a tragic act of tortured anguish the sulking Simian turned on the knobs of Harvey's cooker,crawled inside and gassed itself. On being informed of the suicide an inconsolable grief stricken Harvey collapsed at the Thorp Arch training ground. A broken guilt ridden man allegedly never the same again Harvey left L.U.F.C soon afterwards to become a hermit on the Orkney Isles where he remains to this day.Could anyone out there confirm if this magnificently morbid story is true.
Posted: Fri 01 Jan, 2010 9:32 pm
by String o' beads
Well, he's certainly a postman on Orkney. Here's an interview from last year:
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/ ... 989.eceBut the monkey tale [tail?] seems to be a myth put about by Sprakey.
Posted: Sat 02 Jan, 2010 5:21 pm
by franco
Thanks Geordie-exile,but no mention of the suicidal Simian. I've only ever met one Leeds player Paul Reaney who i smiled at in M&S about two years ago. He looked at me as if i'd waved a corpses sock under his nose,snorted indignantly then walked briskly away .My brother used to cut David Batty's hair. He says Batty would sit in the Barbers chair twiching uncontrollably mumbling to himself while shooting nervous glances at empty corners of the shop. Incidently he never left a tip. The Damned weird United eh?
Posted: Sat 02 Jan, 2010 11:47 pm
by amber
franco wrote: A friend of mine,a life long Leeds supporter swears blind that legendly keeper David Harvey once owned a pet monkey that commited suicide.Apparently the monkey (who incidently was allowed to roam freely around the Harvey family home) became insanely jealous when David began to indulge in thoroughbred Rabbit breeding. In a tragic act of tortured anguish the sulking Simian turned on the knobs of Harvey's cooker,crawled inside and gassed itself. On being informed of the suicide an inconsolable grief stricken Harvey collapsed at the Thorp Arch training ground. A broken guilt ridden man allegedly never the same again Harvey left L.U.F.C soon afterwards to become a hermit on the Orkney Isles where he remains to this day.Could anyone out there confirm if this magnificently morbid story is true. As Harvey left Leeds United in 1985 and Thorpe Arch was the brainchild of Howard Wilkinson who became manager in 1988 and the land wasn't bought till early nineties I doubt it can be true
Posted: Sun 03 Jan, 2010 1:18 am
by String o' beads
Aye. And in any case you can't gas yourself with 'modern' gas.
Posted: Sun 03 Jan, 2010 11:50 am
by Crazy Jane
You could still asphyxiate yourself with it if you could get in the oven and close the door, assuming you could hack the smell for long enough for it to displace all or most of the oxygen. After that you'd not be caring about the smell or anything else.Damn great story though. I don;t care for footy but suicidal monkeys are something else.
Posted: Sun 03 Jan, 2010 1:56 pm
by raveydavey
(Insert purile and childish joke regarding possible punishment of said monkey)
Posted: Sun 03 Jan, 2010 7:25 pm
by cnosni
raveydavey wrote: (Insert purile and childish joke regarding possible punishment of said monkey) Tut Tut,id expect such juvenile behaviour from myself.To the naughty corner!!
Posted: Mon 04 Jan, 2010 12:47 pm
by simonm
hahahahahahah, funny franco, very funny.
Posted: Tue 05 Jan, 2010 8:25 pm
by drapesy
Only humans commit suicide - no animal does - not even lemmings!