Lets cheer thee all up.
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Uno Hoo
- Posts: 755
- Joined: Fri 20 Jun, 2008 2:04 pm
tilly wrote: Uno Hoo wrote: tilly wrote: Uno Hoo wrote: tilly wrote: Uno Hoo wrote: tilly wrote: A man goes to the doctors,No it was not Murphy,and says.My memory is really bad so the doctor says can you give me an example so the man says i can be in the pub talking with my friends, then all of a sudden my mind goes blank and i forget what i am talking about.The doctor says how long have you been like that?And the man says like what. How may we be certain it wasn't Murphy? After all, according to the evidence you've presented, he'd be unlikely to be able to remember his own name! There is nothing strange about that with a name like Murphy.Has a matter of interest i have just been reading about an Irish kamikaze pilot in the last war who flew twenty missions. What a coincidence! I have just read an account of a Chinese kamikaze pilot, named Chou Min, who didn't fly any missions. Apparently his nickname was "Chicken" Chou Min. Also known to his friends has number six.Hope you get that one its the way i tell em. That's strange. It's number 24 on the menu that's just been pushed through my letterbox, He must have gone up in the world.lol Perhaps. But that's not what kamikaze pilots are supposed to do.
The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, moves on; nor all thy Piety nor all thy Wit can call it back to cancel half a Line, nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.
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tilly
- Posts: 2222
- Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm
We must not digress.A man goes into a pet shop and asks the manager what pet he should buy for is six year old son.The manager says how about a hamster?They are small and dont take a lot of looking after so the man buys one and a cage and takes it home.When he gets up the next day the hamster is dead so he goes back to the pet shop and tells the manager that it had died.The manager says he cant guarantee livestock so the man says what have i to do with it.The manager tells him that in some parts of the world hamsters are a delicacy and that they make a type of jam with them.So the man goes home and makes some jam with it, when he tastes the jam it is vile so he opens the back door and throws it into the back garden.When he gets up the next day there is a rose bush in full bloom were the jam had landed so he goes back to the pet shop and tells the manager about it.The manager says i have never heard of that before you should get tulips from hamster jam.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
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Crazy Jane
- Posts: 331
- Joined: Fri 08 Feb, 2008 11:01 am
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tilly
- Posts: 2222
- Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm
A man is reading his paper and sees an item about see and be seen at night So he goes into town and buys a white suit a white hat a white shirt white socks and a pair of white shoes and a white tie.That night he puts all his new gear on and goes out and gets killed by a snow plough.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.
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Crazy Jane
- Posts: 331
- Joined: Fri 08 Feb, 2008 11:01 am
Ok, i'll do it.This man goes into a seafood restaurant, where they have fish tanks containing various fish that you can choose to be cooked for your evening meal.He looks in one of the tanks and there is this squid which is green and has a hairy lip, so he picks that one. The waiter, who is called Jervais, gets the squid out but he's a big softy and can't bring himself to kill it, so he gives it to the guy who washes up, who is a bit of a hard man and is called Hans, but when Hans sees the squid, which is ever so mild and gentle, he can't bring himself to kill it either.The moral of this story:Hans That Do Dishes Can Be Soft As Jervais With Mild Green Hairy Lip Squid.
Evil and ambition scatter in the the darkness, leaving behind dubious rumors to fly in public. To the next world, I commit thee.