Joke of the Week

Off-topic discussions, musings and chat
volvojack
Posts: 1271
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Sun 29 Sep, 2019 5:54 pm

If a man opens the door every time the woman gets in either the car is new or the wife is.

A man saw an advert for a car and thought that looks quite good so he goes and sees it. The seller says there she is just one owner and only my wife has driven it. The man asks "How many clutches has it had." come on, just look at it, it is immaculate power steering and low mileage The man asks again "How many clutches has she had fitted" The seller says Its like a brand new car and you can see it has all the extras fitted. The buyer says "I know it is under three years old but how many clutches has it had"
The man hangs his head and says Seven
volvojack
Posts: 1271
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Tue 01 Oct, 2019 5:34 pm

Useful phrases for travelling in the Middle East.
"Were All Going on a Saudi Holiday"

Akbar Khali kili Hoftar Loftan. "Thank you very much for showing me your marvellous big gun". Fekr Gabul Oradan Davit Paeh Cush Divar. " I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie on the floor with my arms above my head and my lega apart." Shomeh Fekr Tamomeh Deh Gofteh Bande " I agree with everthing or any thought you have ever had or word you have uttered in your life. " Auto Agrrereg Davatman Davo Sepaheh Hast. " It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in the Trunk of your car." Fash -al Etupman Na Degat Mano Goftam Cheeshayeh Moyemara Jebehkesh Shivarehman. " If you will do me the kindness of not removing my Genital appendegages I will gladly reciprocate by betraying my country in public". Tiekh Nunehob Khreeleh Belorg Va Khrube Bemast Ino Beferam. "The Red blindfold will be more than acceptable your Excellency." Maternier Ghermez Ahleieh Ghorban. " My, the water soaked Breadcrumbs are delicious, you really must let me have the Recipe" Belagh goooof ma. " This is so nice being chained to a Radiator
and the rats make time go by so quickly"
volvojack
Posts: 1271
Joined: Tue 26 Jan, 2016 11:57 am

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby volvojack » Wed 09 Oct, 2019 6:44 pm

Archaeologists working on the earliest known street in Leeds (Kirkgate) have uncovered some more artefact. It seems that this 17th. century White Cloth Hall was once "Yeo Olde Dry Cleaners" and they have found a "Reklaw" tie pin and some unclaimed breeches whichit seems once belonged to a Lord tilly, who ruled over 'Unslet,Stourton and all surroundinding areas.
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tilly
Posts: 1959
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Wed 09 Oct, 2019 8:56 pm

He i will go and collect them must have been me great great granddads i was told he walked around Leeds with no breeches on for a few months before he died.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.

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tilly
Posts: 1959
Joined: Mon 11 Jan, 2010 2:32 pm

Re: Joke of the Week

Postby tilly » Thu 10 Oct, 2019 6:50 pm

Murphy is on who wants to be a millionaire Chris Tarrant say you have one question for a million pounds.Which of theses birds does not build a nest an owl a blackbird a cuckoo or a thrush .Murphy says i will ring a friend so he rings Paddy and says which of theses birds does no build a nest an owl a blackbird a cuckoo or a thrush.Paddy says a cuckoo Murphy says are you sure Paddy says yes so Murphy says its a cuckoo, Chris Tarrant says you have just won a million pounds.When Murphy gets home he goes to see Paddy and says how did you know that, Paddy says every one knows a cuckoo lives in a clock.
No matter were i end my days im an Hunslet lad with Hunslet ways.





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