STRANGE - LOST JOBS

Uno Hoo · Post by **Uno Hoo** » Thu 12 Nov, 2009 2:31 am

Found it.Not only in the same mode, but by the same author, the immortal Marriott Edgar.Balbus."Now Balbus, though nobbut a tackler.........."All those interested need only google "Balbus, Marriott Edgar" Enjoy!

Hannibal69 · Post by **Hannibal69** » Thu 12 Nov, 2009 2:41 am

Uno Hoo wrote: Found it.Not only in the same mode, but by the same author, the immortal Marriott Edgar.Balbus."Now Balbus, though nobbut a tackler.........."All those interested need only google "Balbus, Marriott Edgar" Enjoy! Thanks Uno, I didn't know that one at all, but my google search also turned up this, another one that I'm sure that I remember nan reading to me back in the 70's.Cheers,Han.Marriott Edgar I'll tell of the Battle of Hastings,As happened in days long gone by,When Duke William became King of England,And 'Arold got shot in the eye.It were this way - one day in OctoberThe Duke, who were always a toff,Having no battles on at the moment,Had given his lads a day off.They'd all taken boats to go fishing,When some chap in t'Conqueror's earSaid 'Let's go and put breeze up the Saxons;'Said Bill - 'By gum, that's an idea.'Then turning around to his soldiers,He lifted his big Norman voice,Shouting - 'Hands up who's coming to England.'That was swank 'cos they hadn't no choice.They started away about tea-time -The sea was so calm and so still,And at quarter to ten the next morningThey arrived at a place called Bexhill.King 'Arold came up as they landed -His face full of venom and 'ate -He said 'If you've come for RegattaYou've got here just six weeks too late.'At this William rose, cool but 'aughty,And said - 'Give us none of your cheek;You'd best have your throne re-upholstered;I'll be wanting to use it next week.'When 'Arold heard this 'ere defiance,With rage he turned purple and blue,And shouted some rude words in Saxon,To which William answered - 'And you.''Twere a beautiful day for a battle;The Normans set off with a will,And when both sides was duly assembled,They tossed for the top of the hill. King 'Arold he won the advantage,On the hill-toop he took up his stand,With his knaves and his cads all around him,On his 'orse with his 'awk in his 'and.The Normans had nowt in their favour,They chance of a victory seemed small,For the slope of the field were against them,And the wind in their faces and all.The kick-off were sharp at two-thirty,And soon as the whistle had wentBoth sides started banging each otherTill the swineherds could hear them in Kent.The Saxons had best line of forwards,Well armed both with buckler and sword -But the Normans had best combination,And when half-time came neither had scored.So the Duke called his cohorts togetherAnd said - 'Let's pretend that we're beat,Once we get Saxons down on the levelWe'll cut off their means of retreat.'So they ran - and the Saxons ran after,Just exactly as William had planned,Leaving 'Arold alone on the hill-topOn his 'orse, with his 'awk in his 'and.When the Conqueror saw what had happened,A bow and an arrow he drew;He went right up to 'Arold and shot him.He were offside, but what could they do?The Normans turned round in a fury,And gave back both parry and thrust,Till the fight were all over bar shouting,And you couldn't see Saxons for dust.And after the battle were overThey found 'Arold so stately and grand,Sitting there with an eye-full of arrowOn his 'orse, with his 'awk in his 'and.

BLAKEY · Post by **BLAKEY** » Thu 12 Nov, 2009 10:06 am

Hannibal, that is absolutely marvellous - as a teenager I had frequent family visits to Hastings and Battle and so I can even picture the scene as I read it Of course there could be no-one better qualified to recite this masterpiece but dear Stanley Holloway - if only !!

BLAKEY · Post by **BLAKEY** » Thu 12 Nov, 2009 10:11 am

When J. Lyons had teashops all over the country - no less than three in Leeds - the smartly clad waitresses in black with white aprons and headgear were universally known as "NIPPIES", presumably because they "nipped about" swiftly serving the meals. Who remembers the rotating stands with six white teapots under the urn ?? - beautiful fresh tea, never "stewed", every time.

Trojan · Post by **Trojan** » Thu 12 Nov, 2009 11:02 am

In the textile industry the process of straightening and freeing the raw wool from tangles in preparation for spinning is called "carding." In the days when spinning and weaving was a process carried on at home or on the farm, this process was carried out between what can only be described as table tennis bats which had a series of spikes on one side. When the process was industrialised in the mills this process was carried out by machine - carding machines which had rollers with leather wrapped around them - this leather was studded with spikes, and the spikes were called nails - they used to have to be replaced from time to time and the new leather pieces were nailed by a "cardnailer" I used to live near two brothers who did this for a living - they could also produce leather covered stools etc with the card nails fastening the leather to the wood.

Uno Hoo · Post by **Uno Hoo** » Thu 12 Nov, 2009 1:12 pm

Trojan wrote: I used to live near two brothers who did this for a living - they could also produce leather covered stools etc with the card nails fastening the leather to the wood. Amazing!! Did they take lots of Syrup of Figs?

Trojan · Post by **Trojan** » Thu 12 Nov, 2009 2:19 pm

Uno Hoo wrote: Trojan wrote: I used to live near two brothers who did this for a living - they could also produce leather covered stools etc with the card nails fastening the leather to the wood. Amazing!! Did they take lots of Syrup of Figs?

Hannibal69 · Post by **Hannibal69** » Thu 12 Nov, 2009 3:55 pm

BLAKEY wrote: Hannibal, that is absolutely marvellous - as a teenager I had frequent family visits to Hastings and Battle and so I can even picture the scene as I read it Of course there could be no-one better qualified to recite this masterpiece but dear Stanley Holloway - if only !! Thanks Blakey, glad that you enjoyed it. Best wishes,Han.

Si · Post by Si » Thu 12 Nov, 2009 4:17 pm

I seem to remember factories which specialised in "shoddy." PS Thanks for posting the poem, Han.

Hannibal69 · Post by **Hannibal69** » Thu 12 Nov, 2009 5:05 pm

Si wrote: I seem to remember factories which specialised in "shoddy." PS Thanks for posting the poem, Han. Thanks Si, glad you liked it.Cheers,Han.